"Test" - With a capital "T"

This is extremely odd to me. Three things within a couple of weeks = a confused Libbi. Read on, my dear friends....

Some time ago, my supervisor recommended to me Me Talk Pretty One Day, a book by David Sedaris. (In a totally politically incorrect fashion, I will say that David Sedaris is a former crackhead who is gay. Even still, he is SO TALENTED). I finally got around to reading the book last week, and I absolutely loved it. It was entirely witty, perfectly worded, and it made me laugh out loud. I want to read more of his books because he's such an excellent writer.

I was reading Me Talk Pretty One Day in the car on the way to see my family in Minnesota. Last week, we ventured over to St. Cloud to watch my grandma's ordination ceremony. Yes. My Gramma Bernie is becoming a female priest. Pretty cool, right? She rebelled against the "traditional" Catholic church in order to make a point/do what she felt was right. I admire her for that, however, there are some things in this "denomination" (if you will) with which I don't necessarily agree.

For the ordination, my job, as a grandchild, was to carry up one of the wind socks during the processional. Wind socks. It kind of sounds dumb, I know, but it gets worse. I was at the rehearsal early and I saw that the wind socks were a perfect rainbow of colors. "That's odd," I thought, but I didn't think much of it until I spoke with my aunt. "Those are the wind socks?" I asked her. "Yep, those are it," she said. "They aren't a symbol for anything... are they?" I asked hopefully. "You know what they are a symbol of," she informed me gently.

Wait. I'm supposed to carry a wind sock down the processional of an ORDINATION in the Catholic church?! This is wrong on so many different levels. I mean, I don't have a big problem with homosexuality in other places, but it felt really wrong for me to promote it within the church. I feel that way about drugs, too: I don't necessarily like them, but I'm not going to promote drug use while I'm in the house of God.

Through many prayers and passages, I finally figured out that I was being called to carry the flags down through the processional. I was really upset about it during the rehearsal. Really upset. I couldn't believe that my heavenly Father wanted me to do that. I had an embarrassing lack of faith.

NOW... Here is the part where I really, really struggle: Student loan rates are going to double soon if the Senate will not take a vote on it. Since I am headed to college next year, this is really frustrating information. When the story came on the news, I exploded at the television, "You have got to be kidding me! This is the future of America. I am the future of America. I want to go to college in order to keep this country going someday, and you just want to screw me over like this!" Right after this story, the news reporters made mention of the fight about "marriage equality." I'm all well and good with that. Fine by me if you want to legalize gay marriage. NOW PLEASE! VOTE ON THE STUDENT LOAN RATES THINGY!

Obviously, I'm not totally sure what's going on. I just find it odd that the David Sedaris book, liberal ordination, and fight for low student loans vs. gay marriage are all happening within a span of two weeks.

Is God trying to tell me something, or am I just going nuts? I'm not totally sure. I'll let you know when I figure it out. (Hang tight, this may take a while :) ).

Justin and Joan

God speaks.
Really. He does.

However, sometimes He speaks through different means. Whether it be through a song or a dream or a friend or with an actual voice from above, He communicates with us. The question then is: are we listening?

Lately, I have been watching the episodes from the first season of a TV show called Joan of Arcadia. Joan of Arcadia is a show about a teenage girl who meets a person who claims to be God. This sounds a little off, I know. The cool thing is that whenever God tells Joan to do something and Joan obeys--everything works out for the better. It's really a neat show because Joan always tries to figure out why she has to do all these little tasks for Him. Sometimes she doesn't find out. The important aspect is this: she tries to find instruction by using the hidden messages that God has provided her.

What does this have to do with anything?

I have a person that is so dear to me who is not saved. I know that many people say, "Why is that such an issue--that they are saved?" It's just important to me, okay? I still love them under every circumstance. But I wish they knew the grace that I have experienced. It's more peaceful and joyful than a person can imagine.

Anyway, I have this person with whom I am very close. I have been talking to her and witnessing to her through my life and listening to her point of view for quite some time now. No matter who you are, if you have something happening in your life that just doesn't seem to be moving forward, you are going to get discouraged. Last week, I was feeling pretty discouraged about this situation.

My friend about which I am speaking has left me to go to a place across the country for a while. In the dream that I had, there was a part when she came back and was showing me scripture verses that she had found... in her Bible. It was a really cool dream because it was something that I have been working towards for SO LONG. It was a long dream, though, because there were a series of things that happened in it. For instance, there was a short clip of a Justin Bieber song at one point. Quite honestly, I don't remember which song was playing. All that I remember is that there was a Justin Bieber song in my dream. That's pretty odd.

I woke up the next day with the disappointing realization that the dream was not reality. I prayed for my friend once again, and this time, I heard an actual voice. The voice said something along the lines of, "I have spoken to you through that dream. Pay attention!" Well. Okay! I'll try to pay attention :)

That afternoon, I headed out to Pierre, SD to go camping with my family. I plugged my iPod into my ears, and eventually a Justin Bieber song came on the playlist. The song was called "Pray."

Well. It all makes sense now.

I had a dream where my dear person-I-know became totally engrossed with God. The Justin Bieber song that I connected with later talks about praying for the hard times (and happy times) in life. God spoke through Justin Bieber. Hard to believe, right? My problem has been that I have been working towards this goal. In actuality, I need to abdicate my plans to a higher power. I need to have faith that God will take care of all of those who I love.

God has made Himself real to me.
It's kind of a bummer that others are hesitant to turn their faces.